Confessions of a Foodaholic

Day 3

I love food. I really do. I eat when I am sad. I eat when I am happy. I eat when I am stressed. I eat when I am excited. I can't remember a time when I didn't like food. When I see my favorite food(s) - pasta, pansit habhab, turon, lechon, adobo, pinakbet (especially if it's with bagnet), pizza, halo-halo, macaroni salad, kaldereta, and a lot more but I can't write them all here - I feel like we're the best of friends. I feel like it's a total disrespect if I don't eat them. If I don't get them on my plate, I feel their sadness. I know they feel rejected and I don't want them feeling that way. So I eat them.

Sometimes, I get a lot bigger than my usual (big) self and I start thinking about slowing down on food. I cut back on food but when I do it, I lose my spiritual connection with my food. When I am eating, I feel like a robot putting the spoon in my mouth on a regular interval.There's no emotional attachment to it. The spoon and fork stop dancing. The plate stops smiling. And the food looks lifeless and unloved. Then, I feel sad. So I eat again.

But I am getting older and I have to watch out high blood, cholesterol, and all those other letters and words that come out in the result of my annual physical exam. So now, before I eat, I make sure my portions won't be as big as before. But I don't want my food to be sad, so when I eat, I give it my full attention.

But there are times when I really, really like the food but I know I shouldn't eat much (Or I shouldn't eat the food at all!). And I know that if I eat it, I'd feel guilty. So I imagine Armageddon. Then my mind goes, if the world is going to end tomorrow, I would never ever taste this food again. So why let this opportunity pass? So I eat it guilt free; with delight!

To eat or not to eat? I can't think. I'm hungry!