To forgive or not to forgive

Why is it that it is so much easier to forgive people who have wronged us than to forgive people who have wronged our loved ones?

On my way to the drugstore today, I passed by our parish church. Out of the blue, I remembered the people who had done a terrible thing to my father, which almost made him cry. That’s when I realized that I have forgiven them for their hurtful actions and words towards me but not for what they did to my father.

We are protective of the people we care about – our family and friends – that when they get hurt we take it personally. We cry with them, we feel their hurt, we share the burden, and we join the chorus in cursing and avoiding the guilty. Sometimes, we even reach the point of wanting to avenge our loved ones against their “aggressors.”

Sometimes the situation becomes hilarious (or annoying, depending on the severity of the situation and your view) when our friend or family member reconciles with the aggressor and you end up being the antagonist. Then, it becomes more complicated.

But there are times when the aggrieved party cannot defend himself/herself and that’s when it becomes more difficult to forgive. When that person dies carrying the hurt to his/her grave, then it becomes almost impossible to forgive because by then, there’s nothing that can be done to make it right for the person.

To forgive is to get rid of that emotional baggage that ties you to painful memories and thoughts. To forgive is to free your self from anger and frustration. To forgive is to take the high road and move forward. It is a difficult but necessary process to attain the ultimate goal in anyone’s life – to be happy.

But then, of course, you can always choose to forgive, or not at all.